If today's post seems a bit random, it may be a sign that my focus has been off this week. For example, I went in to see my regular doctor this week. (As opposed to a specialist- those guys usually are expensive, and my insurance carrier apparently considers "life" a pre-existing condition, so I try to avoid the consequential deductible payments.) Anyway, here's part of the conversation with my doc:
I say: "Doc, I keep forgetting stuff." He says: "Fugeddaboudit." I say: "Seriously, doc." He says: "Try making lists of the things you need to remember." I say: "I already do that." He says: "Where's your list?" I say: "I forgot it." He says: "My work here is done." I say: " What about problems I've had staying focused?" He says: "Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?" I say: "I'm having problems making decisions, too. I don't know whether to scratch my a** or wind my watch." He says: "Got a coin?" And so it went.
I have to mention here an issue that's been on my mind for a while. It's been like one of those tiny little objects that gets in your shoe. And the longer you neglect it, the more it aggravates, until you walk like you have a club foot and feel the need to amputate the offending limb at the knee. The thing is, I always get my knickers in a twist when it happens. And here it is. Whatever happened to "You're welcome"? At the risk of waxing archaic, I seem to recall that the standard response among polite society to the phrase "Thank you" used to be, "You're welcome". This reply has apparently been replaced, particularly among Generation Z (aka the Net Gen), by the reply "No problem". This never fails to tweak my ire, as if the implication is that I have done something requiring that I be magnanimously excused for. I realize fully that this phenomenon is merely the result of the evolving syntax of my native tongue. Wikipedia has even revealed to me the innocence of the expression, explaining that what it really means is, "No thanks (or apology) necessary." And so I resign myself to being grateful for any response whatsoever, as opposed to the absence of any acknowledgement at all. Pardon me whilst I morph before your very eyes into a curmudgeonly old coot, as ancient as dirt and drier than a popcorn fart.
As a counterpoint to all this cynicism, I now propose to post some quotes from a "motivational" site I found and like very much. They border on obtuse misanthropy themselves, but I found them amusing (dare I say funny?), and anything that makes me smile is, to me, worth repeating, even at the risk of failure to equally amuse your own self.......
- No one will be as pretty as their profile picture, or as ugly as their driver's license photo.
- The more tabs you have open, the greater the chances that you won't be able to figure out which one is producing that awful sound track.
- There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything that you know
- There are 10 kinds of people- those who understand binary notation and those who don't.
- Failure happens for two reasons: 1) Doing things without thinking about them, and 2) Thinking about things without doing them.
- No matter how low your phone battery is, it always has enough juice left to remind you every two minutes.
- Don't worry about what people think about you, they don't do it very often.
- If you don't step forward, you will always be in the same spot.
- If you turn something over (to a higher power), but don't let it go, it's just upside down.
- Never hate people who are jealous of you, but respect their jealousy. They're just people who think you're better than them.
- Vegetarian: Ancient tribal slang for the village idiot who can't fish, hunt, or ride.
- F u type like ths & u rn't on twitter, im going 2 assume u r retarded & stupid.
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